Syrian Hamster
Press Release. Oxford, UK. April 1st 2018.

News has filtered out from Oxfordshire based Power Inspired Ltd that a new form of energy production is now available. This latest technology is available to everybody and will allow every household to produce their entire electricity needs at virtually no cost. The days of environmentally unfriendly or costly energy production are over.

“I got the idea when it was my turn to look after the pet hamster at school”, says Max Power, head of the Power Inspired development team. “The bloody thing kept me up for hours constantly spinning on that wheel, night and day, it never seemed to stop. After I returned it to school my brother decided to get a gerbil out of spite and this was exactly the same. I thought it was such a waste of energy we should be able to harvest this. We simply added an old bike dynamo to the wheel bearing and suddenly we had a limitless source of energy.”

When asked about the environmental implications of this new form of energy production Max says “Well it’s truly carbon neutral but its not clean energy, as you do have to clean out the tray and it does stink a bit. You attach an access tube to your normal garbage bin and the rodents will rummage through this for food exactly as they do in the wild. This has the positive effect of reducing the amount of garbage sent to landfill.”

Max claims that each rodent is equivalent to a large battery and a typical installation will require around 20 such rodents. “We decided to use the Syrian Hamster for its propensity for liking the wheel. This increases available uptime. We then made the ‘Hambatt®‘, it occupies the same space as a large battery cabinet but remarkably weighs about 100 times less, thus floor loading in data center environments would not be an issue.”

When asked about the life cycle of the Hambatt® Max stated, “Well typical lead acids are around 5 years tops, maybe 10 with good conditions, but these Syrian Hamsters breed like rabbits so the colony is self sustaining. You can always daisy chain another Hambatt® if things get out of hand.”

However when probed about the technology involved and the uptime available, Max cut the interview short saying that he needed a nap.

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